Tonight, I feel strange. No, I’m not sick or anything and the 2 a.m. on the clock doesn’t bother me anymore. I am backspacing more words than I type. This emptiness I feel was not forever in my mind. My void soul craves for some contact. But contact to whom or what? Even my pity self doesn’t know. This hollowness in my soul makes me weak. Weaker than I thought I ever would be. It makes me wonder about the past and the future. It makes me experience all the pain I’ve ever known. All the places I’ve been and all the faces I’ve seen.This dark oscillation feels permanent. The pain covering over and replicating the sadness within; feels like there’s no coming back from this.
All the times that I have existed, I’ve known so many souls. Some rushing, some smiling and some crying. Some of them broken, just waiting for someone or something to fill up the pretty words in them. So broken, that they need outer motivation and courage to stand up and start walking again. And it this very moment; as the cursor on my screen blinks, I wonder why does it have to be this way? Why does there have to be so much pain? Why there have to be riots and wars and people cheating each other and themselves? Just if everything was that simple.. Just if everything could be answered on my two paragraphs; there would be no world wars. There would be peace and happiness for everyone to observe and experience.
Maybe everything is not as complicated as I’m making it; or maybe it is. Maybe I’m right, or maybe I think too much. *sigh* Who knows. All I know is that as long as I keep observing all this, I’ll keep thinking and writing about it. I just wish the long night to pass and feel the warmth of life again; don’t know when it’ll happen though! Just wish to see some light again. I don’t know if anything I write makes sense or not, but I don’t care; because tonight, I feel strange….
–© Aditya Kumar
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