Reminiscing Old Times
Gone are the days without packed bags and uneven uniforms; as the slightest stain on the shirt is now a big worry. Nothing even feels the same. Realising the euphoria of childhood has escaped me, is the hardest truth ever. The ringing of the ice-cream truck doesn’t excite me anymore; finding a snack corner is nothing too great. I still wake up at 5 am sometimes though, but not to watch the sunrise, instead to get ready for the day a bit early. The cold breeze on my way still tease me, but there’s no time to care for them anymore.I still wear a watch but not to impress others, rather to be punctual. I still draw and write, but not sceneries, assignments instead. Free time is not really a concept anymore.
What surprises me even more is that how used to I have become to this; day by day becoming familiar; day by day killing my desires; day by day becoming older….? Mature would be more appropriate I guess. The contacts in my phone are forever rising, whereas my friends constantly decreasing. The lads that I randomly found roaming in the streets now don’t come even if invited. As I open any old albums, all that goes back into them is not just memories; it’s a part of me too. And all in a flash, sometimes I live all the best moments I’ve ever experienced. At a point of time, those photographs defined me of what I was as a person. Even my funny jack-heads aren’t around anymore. I wish so hard they were, at-least for this moment. This very mere moment when I doubt, distrust and query myself.
What hits me even harder is that I don’t even know if I’m doing the right things. If rushing to this non-existential finish line just like everyone else is even worth it. If I should just stop and cherish everything gracious that I glance. If it’s all worth it. If being mature worth it. If growing up…..is worth it?
–© Aditya Kumar
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